


The Subtle Art of Defenestrating Oneself

by an_emperor_for_all_occasions



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, BAMF Peter Parker, Defenestration, Flash Thompson Redemption, High School, Humour, Irondad, Other, Peter Jumps out of a lot of windows, Peter gets an actual internship, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25015171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_emperor_for_all_occasions/pseuds/an_emperor_for_all_occasions
Summary: Usually when someone catches you staring at them you quickly look away or pretend you were looking behind them; however, it was hard for Cindy to ignore Peter’s predicament by simply averting her gaze. Besides, Peter decided that she probably had a right to stare since he was hanging outside the window of their second story classroom.or 5 times Peter jumped through a window and the one time he threw someone else through one.Featuring:BAMF PeterIrondad TonyThe AvengersTeam Redand a healthy dose of defenestration
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Flash Thompson, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 27
Kudos: 401





	1. Chapeter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after Spider-Man Homecoming but before Infinity War.  
> Listen to this whilst you read if that's your type of thing! Reverend & The Makers - Open Your Window: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6E3IDOQn8A  
> Enjoy yeah?!?!?

Peter Parker was an enigma. He was known for many things amongst the students of Midtown High. He had been the clumsy yet lovable nerd. Top of his class. But Peter had changed around the time that his uncle died. Of course, everyone understood that Peter was going to act differently whilst navigating the grief of his uncle passing. However, Peter had started acting downright sketchy. And his strange behaviour had only escalated over the last year or so.

Peter would rock up to class late, hood drawn low, but not quite low enough to conceal the bruises and cuts that littered his face. Thanks to Peter’s enhanced healing the shiners and split lips were always gone by the end of the day at latest. They were healed quick enough to avoid any teachers growing suspicious and asking difficult question, but they didn’t always go unnoticed by his schoolmates.

The young hero had also appeared to grow exponentially more tired over the past year or so. He had mood swings that gave his peers whiplash. He was energetic and bouncy one day and a zombie the next. On the zombie days he would shuffle around, exhaustion written in his body and eyes outlined by dark bags. And he couldn’t exactly tell people that he had only got 3 hours sleep last night because he was up late swinging around the streets of New York in a skin-tight suit.

Because of his dodgy sleep schedule Peter had developed an unfortunate habit of falling asleep in class. It infuriated his teachers and classmates to no end. Especially when he would be woken only for the teacher to ask a question about the lesson that he would answer without hesitation and get correct every time. Peter was visibly exhausted half of the time and had grown out his hair, so it now fell across his forehead in chocolate curls. This combined with his big brown, but blood shot eyes made him look like a puppy dog with a heroin addiction.

Peter had also started to ditch classes. He would run out of class mumbling half-assed excuses about the bathroom and return an hour or two later, if at all. Heck peter had even ditched Liz Allen, one of the school’s most popular girls, at homecoming! Now that hadn’t escaped the gossip mill.

Much to Aunt May’s surprise, Peter had quit band and robotics claiming that he didn’t have time for them due to the Stark Internship. The Stark Internship had become Peter’s go to excuse for missing academic decathlon practice and other commitments. There were some students like Flash who struggled to believe that Peter had scored an Internship working directly for Tony Stark himself. However, most students believed that Peter had some sort of internship at Stark Industries since it wasn’t like Peter to lie, but the internship was infamous, nonetheless.

Because of his strange behaviour Peter had become the subject to many rumours throughout the school. The Stark Internship couldn’t possibly explain all of Peter’s shifty behaviour. Some of the rumours were reasonable whilst others were completely outlandish. Some people just believed that Peter was an awful flake. Not completely untrue. Others claimed that he had joined a gang and sold drugs on the streets, which explained the bruises and bloodshot eyes.

Ned had shared his personal favourite theory with Peter at lunch one day in an excited rush. “Peter someone said that you aren’t the real Peter and that you were kidnapped and switched with a clone by aliens!”

Peter was unimpressed, if slightly shocked. “Ned why would aliens want to infiltrate some random high school?”

Ned replied immediately, unbothered by Peter’s logic. “I don’t know man. But how cool would that be. Aliens!”

Despite all the rumours and high school melodrama people still liked Peter. He was awkwardly endearing and incredibly smart, and the students appreciated intelligence in a STEM school full of New York’s biggest nerds. Even if some of them (*cough* Flash *cough*) were a bit jealous.

Peter’s less than impressive attendance record hadn’t gone unnoticed by the teachers, however, and so Peter had found himself sitting in class as his name was called over the PA system. “Can Peter Parker please report to the office. Peter Parker to the office please” Everyone knew that that was code for ‘You’re about to get roasted by the principle’. Peter began the walk of shame out of his physics class as a few students said “Oohh what did Parker do,” and “Do you think he’s getting expelled?”.

He had reached the office where he was ushered through a door that read ‘Principal Morita’. The man himself sat behind a slightly cluttered timber desk. The walls where adorned with pictures of the howling commandos (the principle brought up the fact that his grandfather fought alongside Captain America every chance he got) and faded motivational posters (‘Today is a great day to learn something new!’)

Peter sat in the surprisingly comfortable seat as he and Morita had a nice little chat. The principle had reiterated that “Look, you’re a smart kid Peter, and generally a responsible student.”

Here comes the inevitable ‘but’ thought Peter.

“But first you abandon your Academic Decathlon team on the DC trip and now I’m being told that your skipping class and arriving late. If your behaviour doesn’t improve then you won’t just be stuck in detention but I’m afraid we’ll have to alert your guardian.”

Peter had stifled a groan and responded like the diligent student that he was. “Okay Principal Morita, I’ll uh… I’ll work on it.”

“Thanks Peter. Oh, and congratulations on the Stark Internship. I’m more of a Captain America fan myself, but that’s quite the achievement Peter. You know, my grandfather actually fought with Captain America himself!”

“Yeah that’s uh, that’s cool Sir. I better be getting back to class you know gotta keep that attendance up.”

“Ah of course Peter, but remember what I said. I don’t want to be ringing your guardian.” Peter left the office far more deflated than when he had entered. It’s fair to say the motivational posters hadn’t worked.

Peter had only just finished his detention sentence after the whole DC incident, and he couldn’t risk the school contacting his Aunt about this. He was still on thin ice with May after she’d found out about his ‘extra-curricular activities’ and after recovering from the shock she had threatened to ban him from all Spider-Manning if it affected his schooling.

It was one of the rules that May, and Tony had discussed after she had stopped screaming at the billionaire for “sending my baby out to fight the fucking Avengers!”. Mr stark had also suggested that Peter’s internship should actually become official since Peter was a smart kid and clearly when left to his own devices could cause Mr stark a whole heap of stress. May even had Tony’s contacts added to Peter’s emergency contact list at school in case of emergencies. Which meant that if May didn’t pick up when the school calls to complain about Peter’s behaviour than Tony certainly would and that would just be a whole new catastrophe.

So, Peter was in a tight spot and he resigned himself to a few months of impeccable behaviour and attendance until everything calmed down a bit.

Peter woke up early the next morning. He was gonna be on time today! He had gone to bed at a somewhat reasonable time last night and set his alarm for earlier than usual so that he would have extra time in the morning.

He scrambled out of bed grabbing a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom. He had a shower and got changed, brushed his teeth, then spent a good 5 minutes attempting to tame his unruly curls before giving up. He gathered the spider suit and his homework, stuffing it in his backpack. It was his third backpack of that month. Who knew that the gap behind the dumpster in an alleyway wasn’t a sufficient hiding spot?

Peter grabbed an apple and a muesli bar to eat on his commute to school and wished May a good day with a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door.

It figured that Peter’s good luck couldn’t last. He had walked to the subway with a spring in his step and endured a normal trip on the subway (well as normal as the New York subway could get). It was on the short trek from said subway to Midtown High that shit hit the fan (only metaphorically thank god, that was an incident, involving a steroid munching sewer rat and an industrial fan, that peter would rather forget, thank you.) Peter felt a tingle down his spine a block or two from his school. He removed his earphones just in time to have a hoarse screech harass his enhanced ears.

“Help!”

His hoodie was already over his head as he skidded into an alley to change into his Spidey suit. “This’ll just be a quick save. Then I’ll go to school.” Peter assured himself out loud. He smacked the spider emblem on his chest to tighten the suit and threw his backpack aside. Spider-Man rushed towards where he had heard the scream. He shot a web at the building opposite him and rushed along the rooftops jumping between buildings with ease.

The young hero spotted the bald patch of a short pudgy man from above. The man was confronting a lanky teenager. He had the boy pushed up against the grimy alleyway wall with a hand waving a knife menacingly in front of the boy’s face. “Hurry up kid I aint got all day,” snarled the man. The boy was fumbling through his backpack probably searching for his wallet. He began searching more frantically at the mugger’s complaint.

Spidey snuck closer making his way to the ground hesitant to interfere whilst the knife was so close to the kids face. If he just got a bit closer, he could web the knife out of the dude's hand. The mugger’s impatience was tangible as he fidgeted and glanced at the entrance to the alleyway. “Look just hand me the backpack.” The boy handed the backpack over with a sullen look on his face and the mugger grabbed it, lowered the knife, and turned on his heels to flee. Peter took that as his cue and shot a web at the knife webbing it to the wall.

“Seriously dude! Who mugs a kid in broad daylight? That’s just dumb,” Spider-Man proclaimed, “Isn’t there some sorta criminal handbook for these things!” he mocked. The mugger had dropped the backpack and started to run away from Spidey as fast as his little legs could carry him. “Oh, don’t go! We were just having a nice chat!” exclaimed Spider-Man, pretending to be offended as he shot a web that landed between the muggers shoulder blades and yanked the man back towards him. “And you know what’s even worse than the whole mugging thing? You’ve probably made this poor kid late for school. That’s just inconsiderate man!”

The mugger apparently struggled to sympathise with the kid’s attendance record and threw one measly excuse for a punch towards Spider-Man’s face. The hero dodged it effortlessly by literally jumping over the man’s head. The mugger was practically useless without his knife and Spider-man had him webbed to a wall within seconds. He webbed the guy’s mouth for good measure before grabbing the backpack that lay discarded on the ground.

It was only now that Peter got a closer look at the kid who had been jumped and realized that he looked familiar. Peter recognised the lanky frame and auburn hair from school. He was suddenly very grateful that his mask hid his face as it morphed into shock beneath the material. Peter recalled that the student’s name was Charlie. He was in Peter’s homeroom and shared a couple other classes with him.

Peter recomposed himself and cleared his throat asking KAREN to call the police. He then focused on Charlie. He was clearly shaken up but also appeared to be relieved and maybe a bit excited to have been saved by Spider-Man.

“You right man?” Peter asked as he handed over the backpack. Charlie slowly reached out to grab the backpack and nodded at the hero with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay now. Thanks so much for saving me Spider-Man, you’re like the best!”

“Um yeah no worries Cha- um child…. kid…. teenager.” Peter stated clumsily. “Ahh I better get going. I’ve called the cops are you okay to hang around and tell them what happened?”

Peter felt bad about leaving Charlie on his own. He usually hung around to help comfort the victim and maybe write a note for the boys in blue, but he really couldn’t afford to be late.

“Yeah, that’s all right Spider-man.” Charlie said with a small wave.

Peter left with an awkward salute and sprinted back to the alleyway where he had left his backpack. He scrambled back into his civilian clothes squealing (it was a manly squeal) when he noticed the time. 2 minutes until homeroom! “Shit!” He legged it out of there barely pausing to shove the high-tech million-dollar suit into his backpack.

Midtown High came into view not long after (thank you spider endurance) and Peter surged forward with newfound speed. But he wasn’t going to make it in time. The entry to the school was all the way on the other side of the building and his classroom was a further hike up the stairs and through the maze-like corridors.

There was no way that he could make it to class in time for the attendance. Unless…..

Peter spotted the classroom that he was currently supposed to be sitting in. It was directly ahead of him on the second floor. He knew it was risky but the thought of hours of Cap’s patriotic voice discussing how “Your bodies are changing,” popped into his head. He really couldn’t stand more detention. And this was worth the risk if it meant that May or Mr Stark weren’t contacted by the school.

So, against his (and probably anyone’s) better judgement Peter ran the remaining distance between himself and the wall and began climbing up the school building with practiced ease. Halfway up the wall he reminded himself that he had to make this feat look realistic for a normal human to achieve and clambered up the rest of the way at a slightly slower pace using the pipe that ran down the side of the building.

It was only once Peter had reached the windowsill that he realized he hadn’t thought this far ahead. Steeling his nerves, he peered through the window.

Inside his teacher, Ms Warren, stood at the front of the room as she begun the roll call. Peter’s enhanced ears could hear her weirdly melodic voice through the glass. “Max Anderson?”

Followed by an unenthusiastic “Here.”

“Charlie Bishop?” There was no response, “Charlie?” Ms Warren repeated. Still without a reply she moved onto the next name as Peter tuned her out.

Peter turned his gaze on his classmates hoping to catch Ned’s eye. Maybe he could help him get to his seat without Ms Warren realizing. Instead, he found Cindy Moon’s wide brown eyes staring at him.

Now usually when someone catches you staring at them you quickly look away or pretend you were looking behind them; however, it was hard for Cindy to ignore Peter’s predicament by simply averting her gaze. Besides, Peter decided that she probably had a right to stare since he was hanging outside the window of their second story classroom. Cindy schooled her shocked features surprisingly quickly, her face morphing to hold a small reassuring grin.

At the front Ms Warren was still calling out names in alphabetical order, “Macy Elliot?”.

“Here.” Thank Thor that P was toward the end of the alphabet. By now a few more students had noticed Peter and were looking at him, their faces ranging from shocked to amused. Peter couldn’t climb through the window without alerting Ms Warren and it was only a matter of time before she noticed him clinging to the windowsill.

That was when Cindy intervened. She turned toward the front and shot her hand in the air for no apparent reason since she began to speak before the teacher could give her permission anyway. “Ms Warren, I think someone graffitied the door!” Cindy exclaimed, feigning shock.

Ms Warren seemed surprised, “Are you sure Ms Moon? I didn’t notice anything earlier.”

“Yes, I can see it from here!” Cindy wouldn’t be receiving an Oscar any time soon, but her performance did the trick as Ms Warren strode towards the door to have a closer look. Peter took his chance and wedged the window open. The window creaked softly but the noise sounded deafening to Peter’s ears and a shot of panic rushed through him.

Most of the class had noticed Peter by now and were nudging their mates and pointing at him whilst the teacher was distracted. Someone giggled and Ned’s eyes widened in surprise. Flash looked thoroughly unimpressed. ‘Oh shit’ thought Peter. If anyone were going to rat him out it would be his main tormentor. But Flash simply crossed his arms over his chest and mumbled under his breath. “You’ve gotta be shitting me Parker.”

Peter scrambled inside, chucking his backpack through the window first and then himself. His feet landed on the floor with a soft thud and he glanced worriedly at Ms Warren, brushing away some stray brown curls that were obscuring his view. Ms Warren was crouched by the door next to Cindy who had gotten up to point out the ‘graffiti’.

“I can’t see any graffiti at all Cindy.”

“Wow that’s so weird I could’ve sworn that I saw something written on the door!”

Peter caught movement in the corner of his eye and scanned the room until he found Ned waving his hands around frantically. He couldn’t tell if his best friend was waving in greeting or motioning for Peter to sit in the empty seat next to him, so he just gave a nod in acknowledgement and turned to slowly slide the window shut, careful not to alert Ms Warren who was still inspecting the door.

Peter then crept towards Ned, aware of and slightly unnerved by the eyes ogling him. He finally flopped into the vacant chair besides Ned just as Ms Warren turned back towards her class, having given up on the wild goose graffiti search.

“Sorry about that everyone Cindy must have been mistaken. You can sit back down now Ms Moon.” Peter sent Cindy a grateful look as she sat down, reminding himself to thank her later.

“Right. Now back to the attendance…” Ms Warren eventually got to Peter’s name. “Parker?”

“Here,” said Peter and Ms Warren looked at him in confusion.

“Oh, I thought you were late again Peter. Have you been there this whole time?”

“Uh yeah Ms Warren. I’ve.... erm I’ve just been sitting here. The whole time?”

“Oh, okay my mistake,” she said as she ticked off his name “Euge- sorry Flash Thompson?” Peter let out a sigh of relief and sunk into his chair.

Once role call and announcements, were over Flash turned around in his chair to face Peter with an arched eyebrow “Oi dickwad how did your weak ass climb up to the second story window?” His other classmates were listening in attentively no doubt curious as well.

Peter had no idea how to respond “Uh well I- ”

Luckily for Peter he was abruptly cut off as Charlie burst through the door. “Guys you won’t believe it! I just got saved by Spider-man!”

Peter hid a small grin and relaxed back into his seat as the class's attention immediately turned to Charlie as he begun to animatedly tell the tale of how Spider-Man had saved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Unless you just decided to skip to the end to read the notes, in which case go read the story you little weirdo <3  
> Anyways this is my first fic so exciting stuff! I have the other chapters planned out but not written yet so I might take a while to update sorry. Comment what you thought or any things you want to see in the next chapter! Let me know of any grammar errors or mistakes I'd love some feedback!  
> Oh also tell me if I've got things wrong about school since my knowledge about American high school is based solely on movies and stuff. :)  
> Bye bye  
> \- Emp  
> (I just googled Emp to make sure it didn't mean something weird lol)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers all calmed down a bit and returned to their seats after they had jumped out of them in apparent outrage and confusion. 
> 
> “Is there no pizza then?” 
> 
> (lol context is for the weak)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooohooo second chapter is finally finished!!  
> Windowy song for this chap: Our Window – Noah and The Whale: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdujdZj9xiE

Tony’s POV

Tony Stark would rather be any other place on Earth, hell any other place outside of Earth, instead of in the mockingly comfortable chair that he was currently slumped in. And that was a bold statement considering the endless abyss of space and other-worldly threats which still haunted his nightmares. 

Okay now that he was actually picturing space Tony could admit that perhaps he was being slightly melodramatic.

Tony conceded that his lack of enthusiasm had less to do with his location, in a Stark Tower conference room, and more to do with his current company. That company being the Avengers (who weren’t off world) both new and old. That included his parents’ murderer and the man who he had once considered a friend, who had left him beaten and broken, on the cold hard ground in the middle of nowhere. To be fair though James Barnes, or Bucky as Steve called him, had been brainwashed by HYDRA and had spent months in Wakanda having their influence removed from his mind. But the fact that the former assassin sat just across the room from Tony still left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Bucky and Steve sat shoulder to shoulder opposite Tony on the large oval table. Rhodey, Pepper, Nat, Clint, Sam, Wanda, Vision, Scott Lang, and King T’challa all sat spread out around the rest of the table. The two fathers Scott and Clint had been given exemptions from their house arrests to attend the meeting.

The accords weren’t official or enforced anymore and were going to take a long while to be revised by the UN. But this meeting was about the rogue Avenger’s punishment. And Tony used that word in the lightest sense. Just 6 months house arrest was their final sentence. Since it was confirmed that Bucky hadn’t been responsible for the Winter Soldier’s crimes the ‘rogues’ were just receiving a little slap on the wrist for disobeying the government or whatever with the whole runaway airport thing. Honestly, Tony was so done with all the legal shit and just wished he could leave.

Clint and Scott would be returning to their families for house arrest; however, the other Avengers were expected to stay at the Avengers compound. That was the main reason that Tony had to be there.

Rhodey sat at Tony’s left next to Sam who was still glancing guiltily at Rhodey’s leg braces. Pepper sat on Tony’s right and thank fuck for her. Pepper had returned to live with Tony only a month or so ago and had helped him so much. So had Peter.

They were just wrapping things up when Sam asked, “Hey, how come that swingy guy from the airport isn’t here?” 

Peter's POV

Peter had a pretty average day at school. It had been almost a week since the window situation and, other than some weird glances, no one had bothered Peter about the incident. Peter had also started to actually attend his classes, which was a feat in itself.

He was on his way to his internship at Stark tower. He usually went to the tower every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. What had begun with Peter falling asleep at his workstation in the lab had resulted in Tony giving Peter his own bedroom in the penthouse. Peter usually stayed over on Fridays and hung around with Tony in the labs on Saturday as well.

Tony and Pete had grown closer since Homecoming and the start of his official internship. Peter saw Tony as a sort of mentor figure, and they bonded over their mutual love for science and being stupidly heroic.

However, Tony dad had been stressed and busy lately. He had vented to Peter on more than one occasion about the “stupid accords and fuckwit Avengers,” but he always made time for his mentee. Whether that be in the lab upgrading super suits or curled up on the couch when Pete had forced Tony to watch every single Star Wars movie. 

Peter had been introduced to Pepper and Rhodey. He even got to help Tony design Rhodey’s leg braces. Tony had whined about how quickly Peter had stopped calling Rhodey Mr Colonel Rhodes Sir, and reverted to his nickname just because Tony’s best friend had suggested it. 

So, Peter was on the subway on the way to his internship. Tony had offered to have someone pick him up from school and drive him to the tower, but Peter had refused, insisting that he didn’t have to do that, and that the subway was quicker than travelling in New York traffic anyway. Sometimes he would swing to the tower as Spidey, but he had decided against it today as he had some homework that he wanted to finish on the subway so that he could get straight into building and experimenting in the lab.

Tony had started to make Peter do his homework before he was allowed in the lab. Because he was such a responsible da- mentor that cared about Peter’s education.

When Peter arrived at the tower, he took his usual journey on the elevator up to the floor of Tony’s personal lab. But a couple scans of the lab revealed that Mr Stark wasn’t in the lab. 

“Hey Friday, where’s Mr Stark?”

“Tony is currently in a conference room Peter; would you like me take you there?” asked FRIDAY in her Irish lilt.

“Yes please Fri.” Peter moved towards the elevator to find Mr Stark since sometimes he could be found in the conference rooms with Rhodey. He was excited to hopefully see Rhodey again. As he reached the elevator the pulled out his phone and replied to a meme that Ned had sent him.

By the time the elevator dinged and opened its doors Peter was fully invested in his debate with Ned about whether or not the bathrooms in the public library were a plausible location for Spidey’s future secret base. He finally reached the conference room and skidded through the door still looking at his phone.  
“Hey FRIDAY said you were up here. I finished my homework so can I got to the lab and work on my-”  
That’s when Peter looks up and comes face to face with the freaking Avengers.

……….

“Ahhhh” The superheroes sat in varying states of shock and confusion. Peter’s childhood heroes that he had looked up to and adored/worshipped. After the airport fight Peter had slightly mixed feelings about some of the heroes, but who was he kidding? They were still pretty fucking cool. 

However, Tony had told Peter about parts of what had happened in Siberia, so he was a little uncomfortable and mad at Steve and Bucky. Although apparently the metal arm dude had been brainwashed by HYDRA, so he thinks that it’s not really his fault. And his metal arm was really cool!

Of course, none of this was going through Peter’s mind at the time. His thoughts had essentially turned to alphabet soup that sloppily spelt out: ‘SHIT FUCK SHIT CRAP!’ and ‘FRIDAY WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS!?!?’

Peter found Tony sitting at the table and widened his eyes like a deer in headlights wiling Tony to save him. The Avengers followed Peter’s gaze, looking to Tony for answers. With most of the room’s attention now on Tony he finally opened his mouth to speak. ‘Thank god,’ thought Peter ‘at least one of us has got their shit together.’

And then Tony said it.

“Um sorry I don’t think we ordered any pizza maybe check another conference room…”

No. Nope. Why had Peter ever assumed that Mr Stark had this under control? I mean how did he think that the super spies, soldiers, and literal royalty in the room wouldn’t notice that Peter hadn’t said anything about pizza when he walked in the room and wasn’t dressed like a pizza delivery guy. Most importantly, Peter doubted that they would ignore his disappointing lack of actual pizza.

I mean seriously, wasn’t Tony supposed to be a genius or something? Peter could acknowledge that he had been put on the spot, but that excuse was ridiculous. They literally had a cover for situations like this, and it wasn’t even a cover anymore! Peter was actually here for his internship.

Tony grimaced after he said it as if he realised that he possibly just said one of the dumbest things in his life.

Peter forced a dry, awkward laugh, “Uh funny joke Mr Stark, I’m… here for the internship?” Even Peter was sceptical of his response and it was practically the truth if you ignored the whole Spider-Man thing. “And Friday told me you were in this room and I didn’t know you had company, like Avenger company... and I should leave now!” Peter sucked in a big breath since, in his haste to explain himself, he had neglected breathing during his rambling.

Peter looked around, trying to read the room, hoping that he hadn’t offended anyone with his evident desperation to leave. “Ahh but this was great though guys.” he reassured hastily. “Good to um… meet you all. I’m a… I’m a big fan”

The room was silent for another agonisingly awkward and confusing moment. Tony and Pepper both opened their mouths preparing to speak before Natasha beat them to it.

“Wait a minute. He sounds like that spider-guy that was at the airport fight”

Sam spoke up, “Yeah! I recognise his chirpy voice. He sounds like the swingy guy that wouldn’t stop talking.”

Peter stood statue still his lips parting, as if to speak, before he promptly closed them again, as his super hearing was assaulted by the cacophony of most of the room’s occupants talking at once.

“Oh god Tony you didn’t...”

“Queens!? I fought a child!”

“Wait what?”

“You dragged this tween along to Germany?”

“Well, I’m actually sixteen so-” Peter interjected meekly. Clint shot Natasha an indecipherable look, whilst Bucky let out a low, impressed whistle from across the room. 

“Okay everybody! Calm down,” Rhodey attempted to mediate before Tony cut him off.

“Look before you all use your shit you should know that Peter here was already doing the superhero thing before I found him. Only he was running around catching moving cars in a onesie. I gave him an upgrade, and yeah maybe Germany wasn’t my best decision, but I was desperate. You had me up against the ropes. But Peter’s gonna keep doing this no matter what so I may as well try and keep him safe.” The Avengers all calmed down a bit and returned to their seats after they had jumped out of them in apparent outrage and confusion. 

“Is there no pizza then?” Asked Scott looking considerably confused and mildly disappointed by the lack of pizza.

That’s when Peter decided that, as cool as the Avengers were, he wanted to get out of that room as soon as possible.

He began searching for a viable escape route. The most reasonable option would have been the door behind him, indeed he had just entered through the door only a few minutes ago. But in that moment Peter didn’t care much about societal restraints such as using doors. In retrospect, Peter can admit that he wasn’t thinking much at all in the moment.

“Fuck this I’m out,” he muttered. Peter shuffled backwards towards the windows, turning towards the ensemble of avengers who followed his movements suspiciously. He gave them an awkward salute.

Then he jumped out the window.

FRIDAY opened it split seconds before he smashed into it. Peter was free falling for a couple stories until he stuck to the side of the building and climbed back inside before anyone could spot him clinging to the side of Stark Tower without his mask on. He promptly whipped his suit out of his backpack and pulled it on. Then he proceeded to jump back out of the window and swing off into the New York sunset.

He left behind an assortment of superheroes in stunned silence as Tony shook his head and peered at the ceiling. His face revealed a mixture of exasperation and stress, but with a hint of fondness for Peter and his antics. Looked like Tony had a lot of explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck me a kudos and a comment ;)  
> Yes, I know I took forever to update. You can blame my Beta reader who apparently thought that watching every Harry Potter movie was more important than helping me edit this story. (Yes the Harry Potter movies now take 5 months to watch okay)  
> Also I don't think that the Avengers are actually fuckwits, I just thought it'd be funny for Tony to call them that.  
> I'd love any requests or feedback!  
> \- Emp


End file.
